Strings Attached Read online

  Strings Attached

  Success. Riches. Music. Passion. It’s a life most can only dream of, but stardom comes at a cost.

  Rock star Nikki Razer has worked hard to achieve her dreams and she finally has everything she ever wanted—except true love. She's ready to find someone who can love the woman she really is, not just her rock star persona. When the band comes home for a break, she sets her sights on beautiful music teacher Drew McNally. But Drew is happy running her father’s music store and she definitely doesn’t want to date a celebrity—no matter how attractive she is. Her mother’s obsession with fame destroyed her family and Drew’s not going to let it happen again.

  Nikki thought she would do whatever it took to win Drew over, but she can’t abandon her band and give up on her dreams. When it's time to face the music, will the price be too much to pay?

  Praise for Holly Stratimore

  Arrested Hearts

  “Holly Stratimore has written a wonderful book that ends up pulling the reader in and making them feel part of something very special…This is a remarkable story and I defy anyone to read it without a lump in their throat. A well deserved 5 stars.”—Kitty Kat’s Book Review Blog

  Songs Unfinished

  “Holly Stratimore does a wonderful job melding music and romance into a parallel narrative. As the characters’ lives ebb and flow, so does their music…It’s obvious the author has a deep knowledge of both music and relationships, and she blends them together into a beautiful chord of a novel.”—Books and Movies and Stuff

  “Songs Unfinished is a tender and strong story, and I still smile when I think of it, over a week after finishing reading.”—(un)Conventional Book Views

  “[A] romance with a flair for taking us in directions we never see coming. Songs Unfinished is a wonderful first offering that makes us hope for more stories for us to enjoy, from an author with great potential.”—Lambda Literary Review

  “Songs Unfinished is a sweet story about overcoming loss and shame and finding love. The two main characters are an endearing pair and the dialogue between them seemed realistic and natural. Over all, Songs Unfinished is a solid lesbian romance with a happy ending.”—Femlitica

  Strings Attached

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  eBooks from Bold Strokes Books, Inc.

  http://www.boldstrokesbooks.com

  eBooks are not transferable. They cannot be sold, shared or given away as it is an infringement on the copyright of this work.

  Please respect the rights of the author and do not file share.

  Strings Attached

  © 2019 By Holly Stratimore. All Rights Reserved.

  ISBN 13:978-1-63555-348-2

  This Electronic Book is published by

  Bold Strokes Books, Inc.

  P.O. Box 249

  Valley Falls, NY 12185

  First Edition: January 2019

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.

  Credits

  Editors: Victoria Villaseñor and Barbara Ann Wright

  Production Design: Stacia Seaman

  Cover Design by Sheri ([email protected])

  By the Author

  Songs Unfinished

  Arrested Hearts

  Strings Attached

  Acknowledgments

  I never planned to write this story. The character Nikki Razer played a supporting role in my first two books, and she even appeared in the first book I’d ever written, which was never published. I was surprised when several of my readers asked me if Nikki would get her own book. Even more so, I was touched and flattered. Still, I had already started writing another story, so I simply tucked the idea away on the back burner—until Nikki started talking to me one day and wouldn’t shut up.

  So I abandoned the other story to write this one. About halfway through, my own life took a difficult turn, and my muse grew stubborn and, at times, went silent. How do you write about people falling in love when the future of your own relationship is up in the air? I had to put this story away more than once while I did my own soul searching. In the midst of all this, my company downsized and eliminated several positions—including mine. This derailed my manuscript again while I searched for employment and then had to focus my energies on learning a new job.

  During Women’s Week in Provincetown that year, I asked Rachel Spangler—one of my favorite authors—to talk about her process of developing characters. What stood out the most in her response was that she ultimately wanted the characters to become “better versions of themselves” by the end of the book. This resonated with me not only as a writer but as a person. It reminded me that people are flawed, and that’s okay. What’s important is that we always strive to learn and grow as human beings, and that it’s a never-ending process. So thank you, Rachel. You continue to inspire me in more ways than I can count.

  Thankfully, my wife and I worked through our issues and reconciled. Once my marriage was back on track, the creative juices flowed again. It was still a struggle at times, but I persevered. I need to thank my readers for your patience and encouragement. I am forever indebted and grateful for your support.

  I have to express special thanks to my friend and fellow Bold Strokes Books author Jean Copeland, for hashing out ideas with me and helping me narrow down a central conflict. I also need to thank Senior Editor Sandra Lowe for helping me strengthen that conflict and fill in gaps where I was struggling, and for the captivating blurb on the back of this book.

  To Radclyffe and the entire Bold Strokes Books team, thank you for everything you do for the LGBT literary world. I am so proud and honored to be part of your amazing organization. For my editor, Vic, I cannot praise you enough. You have taught me so much, and I love working with you. Thank you, again, for bringing out the best in me. Thank you to my copy editor, Barbara, for your expertise in fine-tuning the final draft.

  I couldn’t write a story featuring a music teacher without acknowledging a few of my own. My eternal gratitude to: my first guitar teacher and hero, the late Chuck Mathena; guitar teacher Gerry Adams; my high school choir director, Tom Dugan, who taught me how to sing and the basics of music theory; and UMass-Lowell music theory professor Dr. Jacqueline Charette, who introduced me to the beauty of classical music. I also have to thank my mom, who wasn’t a teacher but whose record collection expanded my ear and appreciation for early blues and jazz singers.

  I wish I had room to acknowledge everyone by name for their love, support, and friendship, but please know that if you are in my life, you are a blessing that I never take for granted. I must share my heartfelt thanks to a few of you. Thanks to my dear friends Lorraine, Elaine, and the rest of our local gang, for always being there for me. Thanks to Teri for a lifetime of laughs, stories, and friendship. Thanks to my best BSB buds Cathy Frizzell, Lisa Moreau, and Jaycie Morrison for listening and lifting me up when I needed it most. I love you all.

  Thanks to my family, for the unconditional love and support you’ve given me my entire life.

  Most of all, thank you, Penny, for believing in me, for your faith in us, and for being my rock. I love you to the moon and back. As long as you’re here with me, baby, this is home.

  Dedication

  This one’s for you, Penny.

  For never giving up on me.

  For never giving up on us.

  I love you.

  Chapter One

  Even with protective earplugs, Nikki Razer thought her ears would blee
d from the ungodly decibels generated by the roaring crowd. She stepped away from the piano. Her bandmates, Jaymi Del Harmon and Shawn Davies, had just finished singing a duet, a song that paid tribute to Jaymi’s late mother. It had become their biggest hit since its debut three years ago. The cheers refused to diminish. The fans wanted what they came for: the scorching kiss between Jaymi and Shawn that always happened at least once in the show. They came together and locked lips. Nikki looked away as the noise level increased again.

  There was a time when they cheered the loudest for me. She was the lead singer. She was the most popular member. She was the one who garnered the most attention. The one women chased and lusted after. The one who gladly obliged with a night of hot sex when she was so inclined. After Shawn joined the group, the Cinderella story that was Shawn and Jaymi’s relationship took center stage, and Nikki had been pushed into the background to some degree.

  Nikki couldn’t blame the fans. They were fucking adorable, those two. Their love for each other was so obvious you could spot the glow from a fucking mile away. She didn’t begrudge Jaymi her happiness. She’d never do that. She loved Jaymi with all her heart. She had to admit, she’d grown fond of Shawn, too.

  It wasn’t as if they didn’t deserve the attention. They were both incredibly talented. Shawn kicked ass on rhythm guitar and had recently picked up mandolin and dabbled a bit on the piano. Jaymi could play anything she got her hands on. Lead or rhythm guitar. Fingerpicking classical guitar. Piano. Banjo. Bass. Sometimes she’d even kick Brian out from behind his drum kit to demonstrate how she wanted a part played in one of her songs. And she wrote amazing songs and sang like an angel.

  Jaymi looked at her with her beautiful, deep blue eyes and raised an eyebrow. Oh yeah, they were doing a show. A guitar tech ran up to Nikki and slung a Gibson Les Paul over her shoulder. Next song was hers. Focus. She needed to focus. How the hell did Jaymi still do that to her? One look like that, with those soulful eyes so full of sincerity and passion, and anyone would come undone. She’s questioning if I’m okay. Jaymi didn’t need any words to show her concern. After almost a decade of friendship and practically living together 24 / 7 chasing their musical dreams, they knew each other that well.

  She walked by Jaymi and gave her a reassuring smile. She stepped up to the microphone at center stage, flanked by Jaymi and Shawn to her right and Kay on bass to her left. Brian drove a steady beat on drums behind them all. She dove into the song and poured out her heart and soul. She couldn’t let her fans down. She owed them everything.

  Jaymi came to her side to play the guitar solo. She leaned against Nikki so they were back to back, and Nikki felt the softness of Jaymi’s hair play over her neck. God, don’t do this to me, Jaymz. It was Jaymi’s way of letting her know she had her back if she wasn’t feeling 100 percent. None of them were at this point. Despite how much fun it was to perform, touring was a bitch. One month to go and they would finally take a much-needed break. They fed off the crowd’s energy, and the adrenaline pushed them onward.

  Three songs to go until the encore. Nikki never thought she’d see the day when she would feel glad to be counting down till the end of a show.

  An hour later, she stepped out of the shower in her dressing room. These larger venues had everything, and sinking into that couch for a few minutes alone to decompress was inviting, but she needed to hurry. They were heading back on the road, and the bus was waiting. She pulled on a pair of drawstring lounge pants and slipped on a T-shirt, not bothering with a bra. She’d be asleep on the bus in ten minutes, so she wanted to be comfortable. She brushed her teeth and slicked back her damp hair.

  The mirror wasn’t her friend tonight. Her normally olive complexion bordered on pale. Her eyes drooped and had dark circles beneath them. A lock of hair fell across her forehead. She needed a haircut, but there would be no time for that for God knew how long.

  A knock on the door prompted her to throw her dirty clothes into her suitcase and press it shut. It was probably Lance, the band’s manager, telling her to get her ass in gear so they could get going.

  “I’m coming already,” she huffed as she swung open the door. Wow. Not Lance. Definitely not Lance.

  It was a woman wearing a seductive smile and a low-cut dress so short it should be illegal. “Interesting choice of words, considering I haven’t even touched you yet.”

  Nikki opened her mouth to respond, but the stranger swiftly covered it with her own. Her tongue found Nikki’s as she scraped a finger beneath her waistband.

  “I’m already late,” Nikki whispered.

  “That’s okay. This won’t take long.” The woman pulled the string and slid a hand inside her pants.

  Nikki gasped and pulled her lips away. The woman had long, flowing dark hair and striking blue eyes. Eyes like Jaymi’s. Nikki kissed her hard and moved her own hand under the woman’s dress. Oh God, no underwear.

  The woman was right. It didn’t take long. As she opened the door and let herself out, Nikki heard her say, “Unbelievable. I just fucked Nikki Razer.”

  Nikki snatched up her suitcase and caught her reflection in the mirror. “Yeah. Fuck me, all right. Fuck me.”

  She avoided everyone’s eyes as she stumbled into the bus. They knew why she was late. They always knew. Brian was winding down by playing a video game on his tablet. Kay was texting. Probably with her girlfriend, LaKeisha. Lance shook his head in frustration. She caught Shawn’s glare accompanied by a clenched jaw and what she guessed was a battle with her willpower to keep her mouth shut. Nikki said nothing. She begrudgingly took one more look back and locked eyes with Jaymi.

  She wished Jaymi looked angry or disappointed or flustered. No. It was worse. Pity. That’s what she saw in Jaymi’s eyes. Fucking pity. Nikki looked away and ducked into her room. She shoved her luggage into a cubby and closed the door. The engine roared to life, and they were moving.

  This was the first tour they’d done with this RV. It was like a hotel suite on wheels, complete with private sleeping quarters, a full bathroom, a kitchenette with a dining table and wraparound cushioned bench, and a lounge. It even had Wi-Fi, a flat screen TV, and a video game system. It still didn’t feel like home.

  Nikki crawled into her bunk. All she wanted was sleep. She tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position and a train of thought that would get tonight’s sexual encounter out of her mind. She only let it happen because the woman’s eyes reminded her of Jaymi. Right? Would she have continued if she’d had brown eyes? Or green?

  Fuck yeah, you sleazebag. It hasn’t stopped you before. Because all you ever have to do is close your eyes and imagine…

  “Hey, you awake?”

  That voice. Jaymi’s sweet voice. She rolled onto her side and made room for Jaymi to sit down.

  “What’s up, Jaymz?”

  “Are you okay?”

  She knows. She always knows when I’m not okay.

  “Yeah. Just tired, ya know?”

  “Me too. It’s been a long trip, huh? One month to go, though. Then we get to play a show at home and relax for a while. I can’t wait.”

  “Me neither.” Nikki propped up on one elbow and rested her head in her hand. She fiddled with a loose thread on the blanket. Better keep her hand busy so she wasn’t tempted to caress Jaymi’s cheek. Or anything else. “Any plans?”

  Jaymi clearly knew she was trying to divert the conversation. But in true Jaymi form, she didn’t press. “You know, the usual. Spend time with the family. Chill out with Devin and Sara. Catch up on sleep.”

  “Yeah. Sounds good.”

  Jaymi smiled, but the look in her eyes was still one of concern. “We’re overdue for a movie night, just the two of us.”

  “What about Shawn?”

  “We can have it at your place. It’ll be good for us to get away from each other for a bit. I wouldn’t want her to get sick of me.”

  Nikki smiled and shook her head. “That’ll never happen.”

  “I hope not. Anywa
y, I’ll let you get some sleep.”

  “Good night, Jaymi.”

  “Night.” Jaymi hesitated at the door. “You deserve better, you know.”

  Yeah, sure. At least one person believed that. The one person she didn’t deserve. “I’m fine, Jaymi. Now get outta here before Shawn misses you too much.”

  Jaymi gave her one more “I’m here if you need to talk” look before closing the door behind her.

  If only she’d made her move years ago. If only Shawn hadn’t come back from California.

  If only if only if only…shut the fuck up and go to sleep. She slapped a hand over her eyes and gripped her temples. Her palm and face were soaked in no time flat. You blew it, and you know it.

  Chapter Two

  Drew McNally beamed with pride at her student. Melissa smiled from ear to ear after flawlessly playing the Bach minuet she’d been practicing for a month. The final chord still resonated from her acoustic guitar.

  “How about that? You nailed it! Great job, Melissa. I knew you could do it.”

  The sixteen-year-old wiped her palms on her jeans, and her cheeks grew pink. “I have a great teacher.”

  “Oh no, I can’t take credit for that. All I do is demonstrate and guide. You’re the one who puts in the hours of practice.”

  Melissa shrugged. Drew was pretty sure the teenager was gay, but Melissa hadn’t indicated whether or not she’d acknowledged it yet. Drew didn’t want to encourage the crush but couldn’t help favoring her sometimes over her other pupils. She wanted to be a good role model and someone Melissa would trust if she ever needed someone to talk to. She’d been studying guitar with her since she was nine, and Melissa hadn’t been shy around her until she’d hit puberty.