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  She flopped back onto the bed, exhausted and feeling strangely empty.

  Chapter Eleven

  With her secrets out in the open, Shawn became more relaxed than she had been in ages. But she noticed that now that her guard was down, Jaymi’s seemed to be up. Not that there was any tension between them—they talked the way they always had, maybe even a bit more. It was in Jaymi’s body language. There were no more signs of the affection she had demonstrated that night. Once, Shawn had brought up girlfriends she had had and asked Jaymi about her exes. Jaymi instantly changed the subject.

  Remembering the conversations with Nikki about Jaymi’s lack of interest in a relationship, as well as her history about getting hurt, Shawn told herself not to take it personally, although she had to admit it hurt her a little that she had shared her darkest demons with Jaymi, and in turn, Jaymi had seemed to shut down. They focused on preparing her for an open mike, and she decided not to push—after all, Jaymi hadn’t pushed her. She’d give Jaymi the same consideration and just hope that over time things would get better. The insecure, injured part of her wondered if Jaymi wasn’t as okay with everything Shawn had told her as she had seemed. A kernel of doubt stayed lodged in her heart. But the days slipped by and for the most part they were easy ones.

  Fortunately, Karla was buying Shawn’s excuse that a meeting with Jaymi would have to wait at least a month, since the band was booked solid with rehearsals and gigs, and they were working on material for another album. An autographed eight-by-ten photo and the promise of a signed CD had mollified her for the time being. She still questioned Shawn on a daily basis, and Shawn had managed to arrive at least ten minutes early for work every day. Karla seemed to have resigned herself to being cordial in order to maintain her connection to Jaymi.

  Thursday night’s open mike night finally came, with support from all the usual suspects: Devin, Sara, LaKeisha, and Kay. Much to Shawn’s relief, Nikki bartended at the club and was on duty that night. The last thing Shawn needed was Nikki’s strange brand of flirtation and put-downs.

  The room filled to about half its capacity. The small platform stage was at one corner of a dance floor. A DJ booth occupied a nearby corner, and a bar and billiards area were at the other end of the room.

  After spending some time with Jaymi’s friends at the Sparky’s gig, Shawn was a little more at ease with them tonight. Still, by the time her turn to perform came around, her nerves were shot.

  “Come on, Shawn, you’re up next.” Jaymi motioned to the stage.

  “I don’t know if I can go through with it. I haven’t performed in months.”

  “You’ll be fine.”

  “Yeah, and you know we’re all here for you,” Sara said. The others added their encouragement.

  “Hey,” said Jaymi, resting her hands on Shawn’s shoulders, “just sing to me. Pretend there’s no one else in the room, okay? Just like you did all week at home. You’re gonna be great.”

  She stared into Jaymi’s eyes and her stomach flipped. At home. The sound of that, combined with Jaymi’s touch, settled her. The warmth of Jaymi’s hands stayed with her as she made her way to the stage. Shawn was introduced and greeted with a polite spattering of applause, making the overzealous eruption from her tiny group of fans more obvious. She locked eyes with Jaymi, stepped up to the mike, and began to play. The chords were a bit choppy at first, and there was a slight tremor in her voice, but when Jaymi nodded and began lip-syncing the words with her, calm washed over her and she allowed the song to take over. Before she had finished the first verse, she noticed that the hum of a distracted crowd had diminished and faces began turning in her direction.

  After a solid round of applause, Shawn dove into her second song, an upbeat rocker that prompted the audience to clap along. Shawn felt her confidence growing and she swore she saw pride in Jaymi’s face.

  By the time she finished her third and final tune, she knew she had completely captivated the audience. She thanked them shyly, bowing and making her way back to the table with a huge grin as they cheered with hoots and hollers, whistles, and applause. She gladly received a round of hugs from everyone waiting. She then looked to Jaymi, who was standing aside watching, arms crossed, and a huge smile across her face, her blue eyes sparkling with pride.

  “So how’d I do?” Shawn asked.

  “Are you kidding me? Did you hear this crowd? You were unbelievable!” Jaymi reached for Shawn’s hand to pull her into a hug.

  “Not bad, cute stuff.” Nikki pushed between them, forcing Jaymi to drop Shawn’s hand. “Not bad.”

  A woman stepped up next to Nikki. “Are you nuts, Nikki? That was shitloads better than not bad. That was fucking awesome!” The woman extended her hand to Shawn. “Hi. I’m Randi. I’m a friend of Nikki’s.” She grinned and Shawn noticed how tightly her clothes hugged her body. “But don’t let that scare you off, honey.”

  Shawn managed a smile and looked inquisitively in Jaymi’s direction. Jaymi shrugged.

  Randi continued to hold her hand. “What’re you drinking, honey? You must be parched after all that singing.”

  “Uh…”

  “Aw, don’t be shy. You must be used to fans buying you drinks.” Randi’s dark eyes cruised Shawn up and down.

  “Not really.” Shawn’s pleading look strayed back to Jaymi, who finally came to the rescue.

  “She’d like a hot cup of tea with lemon, right, Shawn?”

  “That so?” asked Randi. Shawn nodded. “You got it.” Randi took a step toward the bar, stopped, and turned. “Anyone ever tell you how sexy you are when you sing?” Without waiting for a response, she smiled and sauntered away. Shawn felt herself blush.

  Jaymi glared at Nikki. “You want to tell your friend to ease up a little?”

  “Lighten up, Jaymi. You know Randi’s a flirt. She doesn’t mean anything by it. Besides, I think they’d be cute together.”

  “What? Shawn’s trying to get her career back on track. She doesn’t need a player like Randi distracting her.”

  Nikki moved in closer to Jaymi and said slyly, “You’re being awfully protective of her. I think maybe you’re jealous.”

  Shawn realized there was subtext here she wasn’t catching, history between Jaymi and Nikki. She wondered what the hell had just happened but figured it wasn’t the time or place to ask. Maybe Jaymi would tell her at home later. She accepted the cup of tea Randi brought over and followed her to a quiet table in the corner. It wasn’t what she wanted to do, but she felt like she needed to stay away from Jaymi for a second, after the weirdness with Nikki. It’s all so fucking complicated.

  “So, Shawn—I love that name for a woman, by the way,” said Randi, “why I haven’t seen you in here before?”

  Shawn winced at the cheesy pickup line. “I’ve been living in California for the last seven years, you know, trying to make it in the music business. I just came back recently.” She shifted in her chair and tried to focus on her present company, though she found it hard. She wanted to be with Jaymi.

  “Well, I can’t believe you’re not already a big star. You really were fabulous up there.” Randi smiled, and both the smile and the compliment seemed genuine. “I’m sorry if I came on a little strong earlier. Just my nature, I guess. I have trouble containing myself when I meet an attractive woman. I see beauty, and I flirt. I can’t help it.”

  “I think I’ve suffered from that condition myself on occasion.” Shawn took a long look at the brunette sitting across from her. High cheekbones, chiseled jawline, a wide bright smile with perfect teeth, and deep brown eyes surrounded by thick eyelashes. She was attractive, no question.

  Randi responded with that beautiful smile and raised her beer in a toast. “Welcome back, honey. Eat your heart out, Hollywood.”

  “To new friends,” added Shawn, noticing that Jaymi was at the bar with Devin ordering a glass of wine. As they walked back to the table, Shawn noticed that Jaymi made no effort to make eye contact with her. Her heart sank as she quickly re
minded herself to keep her feelings in check. Maybe she doesn’t want to intrude. Or maybe she needs a break from me. I’ve been depending on her for everything, including my social life. I do need to start making my own friends.

  “Hello?” Randi leaned forward on her elbows, her penetrating dark eyes seeking Shawn’s attention. “Where’d you go?”

  “Sorry. I’m just really tired, I guess. No, that’s no excuse. I’m sorry, I’m being rude.”

  “No, you’re not. Look, I don’t want to keep you from your friends, so it’s okay if you’d like to go back to your own table.”

  “Well, you can join us if you’d like.”

  Just then Jaymi walked up to their table. “Shawn, you about ready to go? I’m beat. Kay’s headed out already, and you and I both have to work in the morning.”

  “Yeah, sure. What about the others?”

  “They’re going to hang out a little longer.”

  Shawn stood up and thanked Randi for the drink.

  “Don’t mention it. Hope to see you around again.”

  After another round of hugs and congratulations from the gang, Jaymi and Shawn left.

  *

  “Third time’s usually the charm,” Jaymi said.

  Shawn turned the key, once again attempting to get Jaymi’s truck started. It rumbled to life.

  “Guess my battery’s going. Thanks for driving, Shawn.” Jaymi yawned as she spoke. “I shouldn’t have had that last glass of wine.”

  “I don’t mind, you drove on the way down.” She let out a sigh of relief, grateful for the success of her first open mike since returning from California. She let the truck warm up for a few minutes and then reached to shift into gear, but as she did so, she took notice of something across the club’s parking lot.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Jaymi.

  “That big black pickup over there looks familiar. Does it belong to one of your friends?”

  Jaymi didn’t bother to open her eyes. “No one I know drives a black truck.”

  Shawn shrugged it off and pulled onto the street. A few minutes later, they were on the highway and Jaymi was struggling to stay awake.

  Shawn decided to tease her. “You falling asleep on me again?”

  Jaymi chuckled. “It’s becoming a habit, huh?”

  “So, I pour my heart out onstage, I’m a big hit, I get hit on, and I’m driving home with a woman who can’t even keep her eyes open to celebrate with me.”

  Jaymi grinned and mimicked playing a violin. “Aw, you poor thing.”

  “Damn right! You know I could’ve gone home with any number of women there tonight.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Jaymi mimicked a raspy, sensual drawl, “Since you’re so sexy when you sing.”

  Shawn began to sing in an exaggerated sultry style, complete with gestures and facial expressions, and the two laughed even harder.

  “So why didn’t you?” asked Jaymi when the giggles subsided.

  “Why didn’t I what?”

  “Go home with Randi. Or anyone else, for that matter?”

  “Not interested,” Shawn said, uneasy with where the line of questioning might lead.

  “Why not?”

  “I’m just not. I’m not into one-night stands anymore. Besides, I have enough on my plate right now.” She could hear her voice speeding up with nervousness. “You know, like you said to Nikki, I’m really trying to focus on my career and get my life in order—same as you. Get a steady job, get my own place, get my own paying gigs.” I can’t very well say it’s because I don’t want anyone but you, can I?

  “Yeah. Gotcha.” Jaymi slunk down into her seat and closed her eyes.

  Shawn silently took a deep breath, glad Jaymi was willing to drop it. She glanced in the rearview mirror. “Shit, there’s that truck again.”

  “What truck?” asked Jaymi, looking at her side view mirror. “The one you saw outside the club?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How can you tell? It’s so dark.”

  “It’s got that row of lights across the roof, see?”

  “Oh yeah, it does.”

  Shawn pressed on the accelerator and checked the mirror again. The truck picked up speed.

  “I’m just curious,” Shawn said, speeding up a little more, and then moving into the right lane. The truck did the same. Shawn took the next exit. “Shit, Jaymi, it’s following us.”

  “Are you serious? Where are you going?”

  “I don’t know, but I’ll betcha they go where we go.” She found a gas station, turned around, and got back on the interstate. Within a few minutes, they spotted the truck again, several vehicles back.

  “Holy shit, Shawn, you’re right. But why would someone be…You don’t think it’s that Brinkman guy, do you?”

  Shawn’s stomach soured at the thought. “No. He wouldn’t waste his time coming way out here,” she said, thinking it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself. Would he? Or does he have some other loser doing his dirty work for him? “Besides, it has Maine plates. I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but the night you played at Sparky’s, I could have sworn someone followed us home from there.”

  “Now you’re just being paranoid.”

  “Jaymi, listen to me”—Shawn grabbed Jaymi by the sleeve—“what if you have some crazed fan out there?”

  “Oh, come on, Shawn! That’s crazy.”

  “No, it isn’t. You don’t realize how famous you’re getting. You and the rest of the band. You don’t see their faces like I do when you guys are onstage. Not up close, anyway.”

  “Great, now you’re making me paranoid.”

  “We’re at our exit. What if they follow us to the house?”

  “Geez, now I wish you had brought Randi home with you.”

  “What? Why?”

  “She’s a cop.”

  “Are you shitting me?” They were approaching their driveway. The truck was still behind them.

  “Tell you what, pull in and go halfway up, and if they turn in, too, or even stop at the end, just start honking like crazy. Alice and Peter will be out in a heartbeat to see what’s going on.”

  “No. Not yet. I don’t want whoever that is to know where we live.” Shawn drove past the house to the next intersection and turned. This time, to her relief, the truck didn’t follow. As an added precaution, she turned again and headed back toward town. When she was sure the truck was gone, she brought them home.

  “You know, maybe whoever it is lives up this way,” said Jaymi, sounding as relieved as Shawn felt.

  Shawn was still skeptical. “Well, maybe so, but something just doesn’t sit right. Why would they exit the highway and speed up to keep up with us?”

  “I don’t know. You think we should call the police?”

  Shawn hesitated, still fearing the possibility of the authorities connecting her to Brinkman. What if he’s dead and someone saw me with him? “I’m not sure. I mean, they didn’t really commit a crime or anything.”

  “I’m at least going to go see Alice and Pete in the morning and give them a description of the truck. Then they can keep an eye out for it.”

  “Yeah. I guess that’s a start.”

  They gathered up Shawn’s things and climbed the stairs to the loft. Jaymi drew the blinds in the kitchen and living room as Shawn brought her guitar to her room. She peeked through her bedroom window, and for a moment thought she saw movement in the driveway. She shook her head and figured her mind was playing tricks on her. She walked out of her room, only to bump into Jaymi, who had just come out of the bathroom.

  “Oh, sorry,” said Shawn, and then made a move toward the bathroom. When she was finished, she emerged to find Jaymi waiting in the hall. “I’m sorry, were you not finished with the bathroom?” Jaymi was leaning back against the wall, eyes sleepy, a smile on her lips.

  “You really think Passion Play’s getting famous?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  Shawn made a U-turn into her room and tossed her dirty cloth
es onto a pile of laundry in the corner on the floor. Jaymi followed her and plopped down at the foot of the futon.

  Shawn climbed under the covers and propped herself up onto her pillow with her hands behind her head.

  “Peach used to joke around and say she didn’t want me to become famous because she thought I’d have a bunch of women after me all the time,” Jaymi said, staring blankly across the room. “Ironic, isn’t it? She acted like I wouldn’t be able to resist all that temptation, and then she turns around and cheats on me.”

  Shawn was taken aback; she had been living here for a month and this was the first time Jaymi had shown any inclination to talk about her ex-girlfriend.

  Shawn sat up. “I’m so sorry.”

  Jaymi hugged her knees into her chest. It obviously was a painful memory, but Shawn’s instincts told her it was key to understanding Jaymi. It would also explain why her friends were so protective of her when it came to dating. Shawn decided to test the waters.

  “Was it just a one-time thing or did she fool around on you all the time?”

  “I only know of one time, but that was enough.” Jaymi sighed deeply. “And the worst part was that it happened on the night I told her I was coming back here to be with my mom. It was right after she’d been diagnosed.”

  Shawn nearly bolted out of the bed. She wanted to throw something. She wanted to hunt down Peach and tell her she was scum. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “I wish. We had this huge argument. I was a mess, trying to figure out what to do. I didn’t want to derail my career, or our relationship, but I had to come home.”

  “Of course you did. I mean, duh, that’s a no-brainer.”

  “Peach didn’t think so. She assumed I wanted her to quit law school and come back with me.”

  Shawn shook her head in disbelief. “She didn’t come with you? How could she do that to you?”