Songs Unfinished Read online

  “Exactly.”

  “That puts her in a pretty tough situation, then, doesn’t it? Either sacrifice her feelings for you, or sacrifice her career with the band.”

  Jaymi slumped back onto the couch. “What am I supposed to do? You think she’s pulling all this shit to trigger a fight with me so one of us will quit? That doesn’t make any sense. It’s not like that’s going to make me fall in love with her.”

  “I don’t think she’s thinking that way. Maybe she doesn’t want to sacrifice anything. If the band stays intact, at least she can spend time with you. And as long as you stay single, she still has hope that maybe someday, the rule won’t matter once the band has made it. Then she can make her move.”

  Jaymi sighed heavily and scrubbed her face with her hands. She emptied her glass of water and looked at Shawn thoughtfully.

  Shawn wrung her hands nervously, convinced she’d already damaged the fragile bond they’d created.

  Jaymi inched her way across the couch and closed the gap between them. She placed her hands over Shawn’s. “I meant it when I said that my plans for the future include you. Whatever happens with Nikki or the band is irrelevant.”

  “But…your career?”

  Jaymi squeezed her hands. “I’ll have my career, whether it’s with Passion Play—with or without Nikki—or solo. It doesn’t matter. I will have my career. But I don’t want any of it if you’re not by my side to share it with me.”

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Jaymi was in no hurry to get to rehearsal. She found herself wishing it was a longer ride. She still hadn’t determined how she was going to deal with Nikki. After the speculations she and Shawn had discussed last night, she’d tossed and turned for an hour before Shawn finally lulled her to sleep by softly singing to her. And then the confusing dreams began. Images of herself in various intimate scenes with Peach, Nikki, and Shawn prompted her at one point to wake up and wonder which of the three was actually in bed with her.

  She didn’t want Shawn to feel guilty about revealing the truth behind the marijuana incident because she knew Shawn was right: Nikki’s vindictive prank could have been disastrous for the band. And if her suspicions about Nikki’s feelings for her were right, Jaymi had doubts about their friendship and the band’s future.

  The timing couldn’t have been worse. Irreconcilable differences between Jaymi and Nikki could blow the whole J&M deal. By the time Jaymi pulled into Brian’s driveway, she had resolved to force the issue aside for the time being and take a more subtle tactic.

  “Before we get started, there’s something I want to share with all of you,” Jaymi announced after they had finished setting up.

  “Did Lance get us a recording contract already?” joked Brian.

  “I wish. He’s working on it, don’t worry. No, this is something personal.” Nikki abruptly stopped adjusting her microphone stand and tried to act nonchalant by crossing the room to retrieve her bottled water from a table. She unscrewed the cap and took a swig. Jaymi was relieved that Nikki was at least keeping her promise to abstain from alcoholic drinks during rehearsals. “I don’t really know how else to say this other than just saying it. Shawn and I are together now—as a couple, I mean, officially.”

  Brian broke into a huge grin and jumped out from behind his drum set. He engulfed her in a hug and gave her several kisses on the cheek. “I knew it! Pay up, Kay.”

  Kay smiled. “I ain’t paying you nothin’. I’m the one who said I thought they had a thing for each other a month ago.” She turned to Jaymi and said, “I’m happy for you, girl. It’s about time.”

  Jaymi looked at Nikki to find her still standing by the coffee table holding her drink. Jaymi searched her eyes, afraid she might see the heartache that had been so obvious to others, yet not to her, and saw nothing new, just her usual black, guarded stare.

  “Is this really what you want?” Nikki finally said, taking another swallow.

  “Yes. It is.”

  Nikki slowly walked to Jaymi and leaned into her. “Then I want you to give Shawn a message for me.”

  “And what would that be?”

  “Tell her that if she ever hurts you the way Peach did, I’m gonna kick her cute little ass.” She backed away slightly and grinned. She wrapped her arms around Jaymi and held her for what seemed much longer than she had ever hugged her before. When she finally released her, she seemed herself again. “Now let’s kick ass on some music, shall we? We’ve got a contract to earn.” She took her place and grabbed the mic.

  Jaymi picked up her acoustic guitar and slung it around her shoulder. “You’ll also be happy to know that I have finally broken through my writer’s block. I have a new song I want to play for you. I wrote it for Shawn. Now that you know about us, I think it’s time to add it to our repertoire.”

  “The drought is over,” exclaimed Brian. “Let’s hear it.”

  She heard a similar response from Kay, and before Nikki could say a word, she began to play. It was a simple guitar and vocal tune that needed no other accompaniment. When she was finished, they all agreed to add it to the set list for the gig in Boston on Saturday.

  *

  After she’d done her barn chores and showered, Shawn called Randi to thank her for the flowers. It was an awkward but necessary conversation. Randi kept apologizing, saying that she could never make up for what she’d done. The tension dissipated considerably once Shawn shared an abbreviated story of Brinkman’s assault. Shawn reassured Randi that she had forgiven her, and by the time they hung up, Shawn was not only relieved but could foresee the possibility of a friendship.

  Shawn sat down at the piano. One verse and a chorus of lyrics in front of her, she pecked out what she could remember of the chord sequence Jaymi had been playing a few weeks after her arrival. She repeated the progression, thinking her keyboard skills didn’t do it justice. Jaymi’s playing had produced a much more beautiful sound. She checked the time and figured Jaymi wouldn’t be home from rehearsal for at least an hour. Perhaps she could work quicker with her natural instrument. She retrieved her guitar and began finger-picking the arpeggios effortlessly. Much better.

  After running through the verse a few times, she made an attempt at the chorus but found she was stuck in the same place Jaymi was. If only Jaymi could bring herself to sing it, she would find the musical idea to fit. Shawn found herself thinking of her own mother. Their relationship hadn’t been as healthy as Jaymi’s had been with her mother, but Shawn still loved her and missed her. For the first time in years, Shawn began to shed tears for her mother, and for the closeness lost after she had come out to her.

  She put down the guitar and cursed as she made her way to the piano for a tissue. Now she understood why Jaymi always kept the box there. Obviously seeking inspiration from her own experiences on this subject wasn’t the way to go. After all, this was Jaymi’s song, about Jaymi’s mother. She would need more information directly from the source.

  She gave the tune three more attempts before moving on to practicing one of her own. She was playing another open mike tomorrow night, this one in Portland, Maine. Each week she chose a new location, hoping to widen her exposure. She was definitely noticing improvement in her performances. Can’t wait to start getting paid for them.

  She was working on the third song of her planned set when she caught sight of her one-person audience in the corner. Jaymi’s smile beamed across her face as she leaned in her familiar pose against the door frame.

  “God, you’re good. I swear, if Jenkins doesn’t take you on, I’ll have to fire him as our own manager, because if he can’t see your potential, I’m going to think he’s an incompetent idiot.”

  Shawn slipped the instrument off and placed it in its stand. Without a word, she walked up to Jaymi and kissed her long and deeply on the lips. When they finally parted, Shawn said, “I missed you today.”

  “Really? I couldn’t tell by that greeting.”

  Shawn gave a sly grin. “Be careful, or I may skip dinner an
d go straight for dessert.”

  “You are insatiable.”

  “Is it a bad thing that I can’t get enough of you?”

  “Not so far.” Jaymi kissed her again before they went to the kitchen.

  Shawn set to work on dinner. A half hour later, she was stirring a pot of rice and checking on steamed vegetables and marinated pork chops in the broiler. Jaymi set the table and left to freshen up and change into pajamas. When she returned, she found the lights dimmed and a slim glass vase containing a single red rose in the center of the table. Shawn was plating their food and turned to find Jaymi eyeing the flower and smiling.

  “Is it safe to assume that this one’s for me?”

  “What if it isn’t?”

  “You’re not only down two strikes, you’ll be sleeping on the futon tonight.”

  “And if it is?”

  “Then you’re still in the batter’s box with a chance to hit a home run.”

  “Looks like I’m swinging for the fences, then.” Shawn placed their food on the table. Jaymi grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in close.

  “Ooh, baby, I love when you talk baseball to me.”

  Shawn whispered seductively into her ear: “Four weeks, three days, and seventeen hours till opening day at Fenway Park.” She nipped at her earlobe.

  Jaymi let out an exaggerated moan. “Oh God, you’re killing me.”

  Another long, sensuous kiss followed before they finally sat down to eat and Shawn asked Jaymi about her day. Jaymi told her about Nikki’s non-reaction to her news of their relationship, and her decision to hold off on confronting Nikki about the marijuana stunt to see how she dealt with the news. In the meantime, Jaymi resolved to be aware of any other obstacles Nikki might use to mess up her relationship with Shawn. Shawn agreed that this approach might be in everyone’s best interest, especially where the band was concerned. She, too, would be careful not to give Nikki any reason to feel threatened.

  They finished eating and retreated to the living room, and Jaymi asked about Shawn’s day. Shawn told her about the phone call to Randi. Ever since she’d met Randi, Shawn had sensed a touch of jealousy on Jaymi’s part. She wondered if that had changed. How could she think I want anyone else? Especially now? “Anyway, we’re cool,” Shawn said. “I even think we might be friends. Are you okay with that?”

  “Well, yeah,” Jaymi answered, though not convincingly. “It’s not like you need my permission.”

  “Permission?”

  “Oh, Shawn, I’m sorry. At the risk of sounding like an obsessed, jealous jerk, I am feeling just a tiny bit insecure right now.”

  Shawn leaned over and rested a hand on her knee. “If there’s one thing I can promise you, it’s that I will never, ever, ever be unfaithful to you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

  “Come here,” Shawn whispered, drawing Jaymi into her arms. “I know how to get rid of that jealousy real fast.” She eased Jaymi onto her back and lowered herself on top of her. Shawn pressed into her groin and responded to Jaymi’s hungry look by kissing her hard. Jaymi found her tongue with her own and tugged at Shawn’s shirt.

  Their lips separated and Jaymi said, “Oh yeah, that’s working. But I need more convincing.”

  Shawn straightened up. “Really?” Swiftly, she unfastened Jaymi’s pants, yanked them off, and knelt between Jaymi’s legs. Jaymi cried out in surprise. Shawn plunged her tongue inside her. As she licked and caressed and tasted, she felt her own wetness soaking through her clothing.

  “Oh God, Shawn. Oh, baby!”

  Shawn withdrew just long enough to say, “I can’t get enough of you.” She claimed her again, and she increased the pressure and speed of each stroke.

  “Take me, baby. I’m yours, Shawn, I’m y—”

  Shawn sank her tongue as deep as it would go and Jaymi screamed and jerked upward. Shawn kept her lips pressed into her until she felt the waves of her orgasm subside before slowly withdrawing and moving into Jaymi’s arms. “Convinced yet?”

  “Yeah,” Jaymi replied, sounding breathless. “A little.”

  Shawn recoiled. “Just a little?”

  Jaymi smiled mischievously. “Okay. More than a little.”

  “You sure?”

  “Oh yes. I’m sure. Do I need to convince you that I’m convinced?”

  Shawn grinned. “Definitely.” She got up, undressed, and straddled Jaymi.

  Jaymi stretched up and removed her own shirt. “Well, since I’m too spent to move…” Jaymi gently pushed Shawn up and scooted herself down between Shawn’s legs. She tapped her own slightly parted lips with her finger. “Why don’t you come up here and indulge me a bit more.”

  Shawn shifted, grabbed hold of the arm of the couch, and lowered herself onto Jaymi’s mouth. She let out a long moan as the sensation took her higher. Jaymi was moaning in response and gently guiding Shawn’s backside with her hands, rocking her to control the pressure and set the pace.

  “Jaymi…oh, don’t make me come too fast.” Shawn’s chest was pounding and she willed her body to wait. Jaymi was kissing her center as if she was kissing her mouth, driving her absolutely crazy. It went on and on and on and Shawn never wanted it to end, and yet she was going to explode if she didn’t climax soon. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it any longer, she felt Jaymi’s tongue flatten against her and begin a steady movement. Faster and faster she licked, and then she smoothly slid two fingers inside her. As she glided her fingers in and out, she steadily flicked Shawn’s hardened clit with her tongue. At last. Shawn’s orgasm gushed through her.

  She pulled away and collapsed on top of Jaymi.

  Jaymi wrapped her arms around Shawn and kissed the top of her head. “Now I’m convinced.”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Lance called Shawn to declare his interest three days after his agreement with Passion Play. He attended Shawn’s next open mike and introduced himself immediately after her performance. He went to work scheduling auditions for a backup band for her. Both acts were in the process of recording professional demos, had promotional photos and posters printed, and were playing one or two paid performances each week all over New England. By the middle of May, both Passion Play and Shawn were enjoying success under the guidance of their manager.

  With the pasture thick with a lush, fresh growth of grass and the ground finally dry, and the trees in full bloom, Shawn had convinced Jaymi to let her take her horseback riding one Sunday. Jaymi was happy to wrap her arms around Shawn’s waist. The long months of backbreaking physical labor had hardened Shawn’s body with sensuous muscles. A vibrant glow had replaced the gaunt, undernourished, tragic figure who had shown up, desperate and alone, months ago.

  Shawn slowed Scout and halted her in the middle of the field. After they dismounted, they made themselves comfortable on their backs. Scout wandered away a few yards and began to graze. Looking up at the cloudless sky, they were silent for several minutes before closing their eyes to enjoy the clean air bristling across their faces. Jaymi rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow. She brushed Shawn’s bangs off her eyes, thinking how cute she was, even when in need of a haircut. Shawn’s eyes remained closed as she sighed heavily and smiled in satisfaction.

  Jaymi said softly, “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in all my life.”

  Shawn turned to look at Jaymi. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “’Cause of me?”

  “Because of you. Because of how great the band’s doing. Because I love it here. Because I’m so glad I moved back home. Because I’m writing again. Because our careers are taking off. Because I’m on the verge of having everything I’ve ever wanted. There’s only one thing that’s missing.”

  Shawn watched the deliriously happy eyes turn sad. “Your mom.” Jaymi managed a slight nod before the tears began to fall. Shawn scooted over and took her into her arms. She let her cry as long as she needed to before speaking. “Your mom isn’t missing any of
this, don’t you know that? She’s right here.” She pointed to Jaymi’s heart. “She’s always right here, with you every step of the way. And I bet she’s got the brightest smile in Heaven right now, hearing you talk about your happiness. She has never left your side, Jaymi.”

  Jaymi hugged her tightly. After a few minutes, she seemed to collect herself, thanked Shawn for her kind words, and sat up. She grinned mischievously.

  Shawn looked at her sideways, suspicious of the source of this unexpected expression. “What is it?”

  “Ever been to New York City?”

  “No. Why?”

  “When’s your gig next weekend?”

  “Friday in Portsmouth. What are you up to?”

  “So you’d be free to go to a show with me in New York on Saturday?”

  Shawn playfully shook her lover. “Are you shitting me? What is it? A Broadway show? A concert? What?”

  “Sorry, nothing that big. Shoot, I hate to disappoint you—”

  “Wait a minute. You always have a gig on Saturday nights. How can we go—” Jaymi’s grin widened as Shawn jumped to her feet, startling Scout into a short spurt across the pasture. “No way!”

  “Yes way.”

  “Passion Play’s got a gig in New York?”

  Jaymi stood. “Not only are we playing in New York, but a rep from a major record label is going to be there.”

  “Holy shit! When did you—”

  “Lance called while you were in the shower this morning. Apparently, the rep was in Boston last week and heard about us. He caught our last set, found out we were managed by J&M, and he called Lance. Fortunately he has other business in New York next weekend, and he actually rearranged his schedule so he can see our show.”

  “My God, Jaymi. Do you know what this means?”

  “This could be our big break.”

  “This is so unbelievable—I’m so happy for you, babe!” They jumped up and down in silly happy dances before embracing and kissing. “We need to celebrate. I’m taking you out to dinner. My treat. Anywhere you want to go.”