Songs Unfinished Page 28
“Jaymi, you—more than anybody—know how hard I’ve busted my ass to turn my life around. You made me want to be a better person. And something else happened, too. I felt something I had never felt before. I fell for you. Shit, I wanted you so much. But you had a girlfriend. It killed me. Every day. Every time I saw you. It killed me.
“So I tried to convince myself that it was okay. At least we were friends. It was better than nothing. And then, you were gone.” Shawn lifted her head and swallowed hard. Her eyes were filling up fast. “You never even said good-bye. You were just…gone. I had to hear through the grapevine you had gone back home because your mother was ill. I understood why you left. But when you didn’t even say good-bye, it was like I didn’t matter to you, just like I didn’t matter to anyone else.”
“Oh, Shawn, you’re wrong about that. You did matter, I was just such a wreck at that time—I withdrew from everybody, not just you.”
“But I didn’t know that. To me, things were just the way I had always suspected, that you meant more to me than I did to you. That maybe the friendship wasn’t as strong as I thought it was. That’s the way I thought back then.”
“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. It was never my intention to hurt you the way I did.”
“So how do you think it makes me feel when you throw my past in my face? The last thing you said to me in New York was that I could find a woman to seduce for a place to sleep. Do you know what that did to me? I’m not that person anymore, Jaymi. I will never be that person again. I need you to believe that. I need you to know that the human being I am is the one you’ve been with for the past six months. That’s who I am. You brought out the best in me, and I am not about to let you or anyone else take that away from me ever again.”
Jaymi wanted to hug her. More than anything, she wanted to cradle Shawn in her arms and never let her go. But after her gut-wrenching words, she wasn’t so sure that was what Shawn wanted. Had she been wrong to assume that Shawn would automatically take her back? Had she been that arrogant? She remained still and let Shawn cry, fighting off the temptation to touch her by getting up to bring her the tissue box. When she appeared to regain most of her composure, Jaymi finally spoke.
“I was jealous.”
“What?”
“When I found out from Suri that Peach had slept with you, I was so unbelievably jealous.”
“Well, of course you were, she was your girlfriend.”
Jaymi took Shawn’s hand in hers and looked her in the eye. “You don’t understand. At the time that it happened, yes, that’s how I felt. But when I found out a month ago, that it was you she was with, I was devastated. Not because it brought up feelings for Peach again, but because I couldn’t bear the thought of you making love to someone else. That’s why I freaked out—because it felt like you had cheated on me.”
“What’re you saying?”
“I don’t give a damn about Peach, Shawn. If it hadn’t been you she slept with, it would’ve been someone else. That relationship would have ended no matter what. I’m glad it did.” She touched a hand to Shawn’s cheek and looked directly into her eyes. “I love you, Shawn.”
“You love me?”
“Yes. I do. And I want to say I forgive you, but there is nothing to forgive you for. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who needs to beg for your forgiveness.” She squeezed Shawn’s hand. “Please.” Jaymi’s eyes watered. “You’ve been nothing but good to me. I don’t deserve you. Please forgive me and move back home. I don’t want to be without you another minute.”
Shawn took a deep breath and Jaymi thought she was going to say something, but she didn’t. Her hesitation prompted Jaymi to continue. “I promise you, I will never put you down for your past mistakes ever again. I promise. I was angry and confused—that’s no excuse, I know, but I’ve regretted those words since they left my mouth, and I am so sorry. You don’t know how proud I am of you for all you’ve accomplished. How proud I was to be with you. You are a beautiful, loving, giving person, Shawn—I hope you know that. And your talent, oh God, your amazing talent as a performer, musician, songwriter. Whenever I’ve watched you onstage, I’ve seen the women in the crowd lusting after you, and I just gloat inside because it’s me you came home with and made love to every night.”
A slow smile was growing on Shawn’s face. “Please, go on. Flattery will get you everywhere.”
Jaymi’s lips twitched upward. “I love your eyes and your wild, untamed hair.”
“And?”
“And when you play your guitar I fantasize about being the strings under your fingers.”
“Oh, really? I thought I was the only one who did that.”
“And I miss your delicious home-cooked meals.”
“Aha! The truth comes out.”
“Baby, I’ve been a wreck since we’ve been apart. Look at this place—I haven’t been able to write. I can barely get myself out of bed and get down to the studio. I should be on cloud nine with the band’s contract and all the gigs we’ve been getting, and I can’t feel any love for it at all. I’m just going through the motions for what should be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And last night, when we were on our way to save you from that despicable creep, it was so clear to me that I might possibly have thrown away the best thing that’s really happened to me. You. You talk about bringing out the best in someone, well, you do the same for me, sweetheart. Shawn, I love you so much. And I will do whatever it takes to win your heart.”
Shawn leaned into Jaymi and rested a hand on her cheek. “Baby, you won my heart the day we met. I love you, too. I love you so much.”
Shawn slipped her hand behind Jaymi’s neck and pulled her toward her. “I forgive you.” Their lips met in a searing kiss. Shawn eased Jaymi onto her back on the couch. One hand found its way under Jaymi’s shirt, and she reveled in Shawn’s caress. Jaymi wrapped her legs around Shawn. They sat up and Jaymi gingerly removed Shawn’s shirt, mindful of her sprained shoulder, and then ripped off her own shirt before lying back down, their naked breasts pressed together.
Jaymi’s breath caught as Shawn kissed her throat and neck. Her hand gently circled Jaymi’s left breast.
“We need more room. I’m afraid I’ll hurt your shoulder.” Jaymi held out her hand for Shawn and they left a trail of clothing in the hall in between kisses. Jaymi yanked back the covers and carefully lowered Shawn onto the bed. Their naked bodies came together.
“Oh God,” whispered Jaymi, “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I know, me, too. These last few weeks almost killed me.” Shawn nuzzled Jaymi’s neck. “You’re beautiful. So incredibly beautiful. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too. More than I ever thought possible.” She gently caressed Shawn’s bruised cheek and brushed her bangs back. “All I want to do right now is be here with you, in your arms, where I belong.” Jaymi wrapped herself around Shawn and held her tenderly.
“It’s good to be home,” whispered Shawn, sinking into Jaymi’s embrace and gentle kisses on her cheek and temple.
*
The applause quieted as Nikki addressed the crowd. “You all like surprises?” The audience roared affirmatively. “Good. What about you, Jaymi?”
Jaymi cocked her head in confusion. “What are you up to, Nikki?” she answered into her mic. Out of the shadows from the back corner of the stage, a figure approached with an acoustic guitar. The crowd erupted. Jaymi beamed. A month had passed since Brinkman’s attack. Passion Play’s bookings were back on schedule after a two-week hiatus taken while Jaymi waited on Shawn hand and foot, nursing her back to health and refusing to leave her alone. Shawn had made a complete recovery, other than some residual stiffness in her shoulder that Jaymi was more than willing to massage for her.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” said Nikki, “performing a brand-new song for the first time for you right now, please welcome our friend, the amazingly talented Shawn Davies!”
Nikki retreated to the piano as
Shawn took her place at the microphone and began plucking the strings of her guitar. Four bars into the tune, Nikki began to play along and Shawn spoke into the mic as she turned to Jaymi. “This is for you and your mom, Jaymi.”
Jaymi immediately recognized the melody. Resisting the urge to sing along, she stayed still and absorbed the emotional voice singing her lyrics in a beautiful melody. The effect of the simple guitar and piano accompaniment was genius, and when Shawn launched into the powerful chorus that had eluded Jaymi for years, their eyes locked and her own filled with tears. Jaymi joined in on the second verse and harmonized organically into the final chorus. The song ended and they spontaneously swung their guitars behind their backs and embraced—to the delight of the crowd screaming at the top of their lungs.
“Thank you, Shawn. So beautiful. I love you, oh God, do I love you.”
Shawn’s voice caught on emotion so overwhelming she could do nothing but relish the moment—the crowd noise, the joy in Jaymi’s eyes, the loving energy that filled the room. She held Jaymi’s eyes and could say only one thing. “Kiss me.”
Jaymi’s eyes flew open wide. “Here? Now?”
“Right here. Right now.”
Jaymi took Shawn into her arms and they came together in a passionate kiss. The crowd noise became deafening.
*
Shawn and the band joyously stepped offstage as the demands for an encore echoed throughout the concert hall.
“Damn, I love playing in Boston,” said Nikki.
Lance joined them and looked like he was about to burst with pride. “Great show, guys! I hope you all aren’t too attached to your day jobs.”
“What do you think, Lance? What’s up?” asked Brian.
“Graham Paxton is here.”
Shawn groaned. “Oh shit, it’s like a recurring nightmare.”
“Not this time, darling. The real Graham Paxton. As in the real Graham Paxton who works for the real Sierra Sparks.”
“But why?” Jaymi asked.
“It turns out that Sierra really does need an opening act this fall for the New England leg of her tour. When Graham told her about what Brinkman did, she had him check into Shawn for herself. That led him to check out Passion Play, too.”
They looked at him expectantly and he smiled. “They loved it. All of it.” He turned to Shawn. “But their favorite part was when you performed with the band.”
“Wait a minute, who’s they? Holy shit, are you saying that Sierra Sparks is here, too?” blurted Shawn.
“No, she couldn’t make it. He sent her a video feed from his smartphone. But there’s a catch. She wants both acts, but she can only book one to take on the road with her.”
Everyone got quiet. Jaymi turned to face Shawn. “It should be you, Shawn. You’re the one he came out here to see. It’s because of you that they saw us perform.”
“But I don’t even have my own band yet. You guys are way more ready to tour than I am. This crowd paid to see you guys, not me.”
Lance loudly cleared his throat. “She wants all of you. Together. You’re going to have to join Passion Play, Shawn, at least temporarily. Don’t worry, you’ll get to play all your songs, too.” The encore chants were growing louder. Lance gestured in that direction. “If you won’t listen to me, listen to them. Ask them. Go out there and give them the encore they want, and ask them if they want you to join the band. You’ll see that I’m right.” He turned to head down the corridor that led to the back rooms. “And by the way, if this stint in New England goes well, you may be joining her in Europe, too.”
The group exchanged looks and began to grin and cheer. Except for Jaymi, who looked at Nikki with concern. “What about the rule, Nik?”
Nikki’s smile grew wider. “To hell with the rule, Jaymi. Let’s go for it. Face it, nothing’s going to keep you two apart anyway. We’re a better band with her, and you’d only be distracted if she wasn’t with us.”
The rest of the band ran out onstage to warm up the crowd for the encore, but Jaymi held Shawn back for a second.
“What do you think, babe?”
“I think we better start collaborating on some more songs.”
“I think you’re right. After all, we do make beautiful music together.”
Shawn grinned. “No more red flags?”
Jaymi laughed and shook her head. “Not a one, babe. Not a one.”
About the Author
Holly Stratimore has spent a lifetime expressing herself creatively. She has played guitar and composed songs since the age of ten and performed at open mikes and benefit shows, and she volunteers as the musician every summer at a day camp for special needs students. She discovered a joy for writing fiction during high school when she wrote seven humorous stories that featured herself and her friends as the characters. In 2007, Holly began devoting her creative energies to writing lesbian romance novels.
A native New Englander, Holly enjoys cheering for the Boston Red Sox, attending concerts, walks on the beach, backyard barbecues, and making people laugh—and groan—with her puns and quick wit. She and her wife live in New Hampshire.
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